As you can clearly see by looking at the picture of me, I am a cyber canine. In fact, I would say that I am the world's smartest cyberdog. Keeping that fact in mind, I wish to tell you a story about how I got my job. You may not believe the story, but it's true. I swear it's 100% true. I wouldn't lie to you. Here's my story:
A local business, looking for office help, put a sign in the window saying "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with computer, and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."
A short time afterwards, I trotted up to the window, saw the sign, and went inside. I looked at the receptionist and wagged my tail (I've been told that humans think this is cute). Then I walked over to the sign, looked at it, and said "rfff" (which, in dog talk, means "look at that"). Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at me and was surprised to see a dog. However, since I had a determined look on my face, the manager led me into his office.
Inside, I jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type."
I jumped down, went to the typewriter, and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. I took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him. Then I jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then he said, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer."
So, I jumped down again, went to the computer, and proceeded to demonstrate my expertise with various programs, produced a sample spreadsheet and database, and presented them to the manager. By this time the manager was totally dumbfounded! He looked at me and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job."
I jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and puts my paw on the part about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said, "Yes, but the sign also says that you must be bilingual."
I looked him straight in the face and said, "Meow."
And, that's how I got the job. Honestly. I wouldn't lie to you!
